Water Tower Engineer’s Guild Handbook
Last fall, while working on the barn renovation project, I found a well worn copy of the “Water Tower Engineer’s Guild Handbook.” It was truly an AMAZING find.
I am thinking the former owner of my house must have been a guild member – this book contains some rather esoteric material, stuff that Mr. and Ms. Vince J. Public doesn’t know. For example, I bet you didn’t know that water tower engineers and light house keepers have a special bond. They are close cousins, and part of a secret aquatic society. When the master of a lighthouse needs to travel inland, he always stays with a water tower guild member.
I’ve also learned something about the actual mechanics of different types of water towers. The “sky pimple” model uses a gravity driven well system (much like the lochs in the Panama canal) to pump water from underground aqueducts to the top of the tower. An octopus, usually, lives in the tower itself and manages the flow to surrounding communities [see diagram]. An octopus is as smart as a house cat – very clever – and much more industrious. That’s another guild secret – they understand the cephalopod mind. Some common East Coast water tower structures are summarized in the following diagram. Please click to view full sized version:
This book is packed with a lot of information that I don’t really understand – and I’m pretty sure that I am as least as smart as a house cat. As I learn more, I’ll post it here.
Tags: cephalopod, watertower
January 25th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
What a find! Ted would love this.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:22 am
Brilliant as always, doctor, but a damned foolhardy maneuver.
Transparent water tower engineer ninjas have been dispatched to keep you from publishing any more of the Guild’s secrets. They are bred in tanks of saltwater, and can regrow severed limbs. Listen for squelchy steps behind you, my friend.